Farewell

So my trip is over. Birthright bills itself as a "journey of self-discovery." That is a little cheesy for me, but I do take the time to acknowledge what this trip has meant for me. Something I realize I haven't mentioned is the fact that I am part Armenian, but before coming I really had no idea what that meant. We have few and conflicting records of my Armenian ancestors, so I don't even know where they lived, what villages they were originally from, if anyone died in the genocide, or if we have any living relations in the country. While I haven't answered those questions, I am grateful for what I have learned about this place and its people. And while I am only a part Armenian, I haven't let that detract from a responsibility and connection I feel for this beautiful country nonetheless.

Armenia and its Diaspora have an interesting relationship. 3 million Armenians live in the Republic of Armenia; twice that number live in other countries, through centuries of war, empire, and emigration. The Diaspora, which provides much of the investment and political clout for the country, is both Armenia's greatest asset and in some ways, liability. I think it can be problematic for a group to control or influence another community and its political and economic conditions when they are disconnected - perhaps privileged - from its reality. What is amazing to me though is how so many Diasporans, even while being cut off from the Armenian reality, preserve so much of their culture in their own communities. Almost everyone I have met on this trip attended Armenian school and often Armenian church, was brought up bi-lingual, and taught to visit the homeland. I have learned that I am considered a "Lost Armenian," someone in the Diaspora who has lost touch with their roots. I am glad to have had this experience and to be able to share it with my family. 

While I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about my "Armenianness," I don't feel bound to what it might mean here. If anything, this experience has also given me an appreciation for the nontraditional aspects of my family - the fact that my Armenian relatives didn't feel forced to marry in the Armenian community, that they wanted to see the world, that they had a more cosmopolitan and global perspective, so to speak. As someone who is of mixed heritage, who has lived in many different places and plans to continue to do so, I don't have a fixed understanding of "where I come from." And I have come to see this as a good thing; I don't feel "lost" as they would say here. Ever since Steve told me about cosmopolitanism when he was studying it in law school, and really before that, I have liked the idea of humanity as the fundamental thing that binds us together. I realize this might sound quaint coming from someone who has never lived near a disputed border or experienced armed ethnic conflict. However I believe that there is strength and stability in diversity, which is part of the reason I work in women's political representation. I believe if you are insulated only with people who look like you and sound like you, it's bound to be a dangerous situation. And I have become fascinated with the irreverent in my family history, from the Armenian son who traveled the world, to the women in England who were in the Cornwall rebellion, to my Lebanese ancestor who took up the Quaker faith, to my grandmother who left the farm to work abroad. I don't know that I'd ever want to claim one country as my own or only live amongst "my own," as they do here. 

My Diasporan friends who have decided to resettle here permanently would argue that part of nation-building is creating the state in your image, in being the change you want to see in your country, and that their responsibility to their homeland helps them see beyond the flaws and embrace the challenges. I admire that. 

One thing this experience has inspired me to do though is to learn more about where I come from and the people who make up all the parts of my identity. I was happy to be able to see where the Huckelbridges come from in Somerset, England. Next I hope to travel to Lebanon. And I do hope to maintain a connection to Armenia and to the work of development and the struggle of women here. 

And I'm off. հրաժեշտ, or farewell.